Patience

It is so hard for me to be patient. Patience is definitely something I struggle with in every area. But money is a key area that I have the hardest time with. We are working on paying off our debt and are really headed in the right direction, but UGH!! I set my budgets with expectations of everything extra going to debt, but honestly its just not practical. Dentists, cartags, and other expenses that don't happen monthly aren't budgeted in each month. So when they pop up I have to remove money from my pay off debt fund. Its not awful, logically I know that. But I can feel my stress level being all over the place. I don't want to wait another month to pay a little more. I want to complete our goals so I can work on others.

30 Facts About Me

Nikki did this and I thought I would follow suit... what you are supposed to do is tag 30 different people and then write 30 facts about yourself.

It doesn't matter what you put as long as they are all facts.

1. I use to secretly watch Power Rangers and Barney when I was in 5th and 6th grade.

2. When my water broke with Katie I reallly wanted to get a Jamba Juice before going to the hospital, and I am still kinda bitter they weren't open yet.

3. I dream in cartoons, less than I use to, but still do some.

4. I have buyers remorse before I buy almost everything, usually I'm fine after I buy it.

5. I am allergic to cough syrup; If I take it I end up coughing and coughing and coughing

6. I have a tendency to talk too much.

7. I use to want to make and sell milk that tasted like cereal.

8. It takes me a long time to get ready a lot of the time...not for any reason besides the fact that I zone out a lot.

9. I loved the velvetine rabbit when i was a kid, and even had a stuffed animal.

10. I have poor time management.

11. I feel half good at most things.

12. I have eczema on my head and it itches a lot

13. I like bobbing for apples

14. I do feel blessed to have such good friends and family.

15. Once I climbed on top of my high school and walked around a bunch of the buildings roofs.

16. I have dealt with depression to the point of needing medication 3 times in my life, glad its been a long time.

17. I am nervous and self conscious with large bursts of boldness.

18. I almost cannot resist the mention of cheese fries.

19. I really like fairies and mythical stuff, I find the unique beautiful.

20. I actually enjoy budgeting money, its just hard to stick to it perfectly.

21. I find coming up with 30 things to be extremely difficult.

22. I like to wear skirts, they are very comfortable.

23. When I stress my stomach hurts.

24. I taught myself how to draw eyes, by tracing mine in the mirror with lip liner.

25. I wish I could live in the water.

26. Worries a lot about being good enough.

27. I wanted rollerblades really bad, after I got them i left them outside. Either a mouse lived in one, or I found a massive spider web in one..I can't remember. But it grossed me out so much i decided I didnt wanna rollerblade again.

28. Loves quilts.

29. Missing my Grandma MeMaw, I have a lot of good memories of her.

30. My pinky fingers get cold easily.

Whoa that took a long time... I am tagging everyone who reads this!! I know who you are ... :)

My Big Girl

Katie will be two years old in a little over a week. All those people who say..oh it goes so fast... they are right. When you are an adult you are the same for a long time, but every week for a child is the last time they will be that young- every moment they are changing and becoming who they will be when they grow up. I also feel shocked sometimes when I realize she is turning 2 and not 3 or 4. She is so smart, creative, sweet and loving. She remembers so many peoples names, tries to make sure to tell everyone goodbye and give them hugs when she leaves them. She knows how to play hide and seek and I don't even know where that came from. Electronics and shapes and colors are not too challenging for her. She also makes thoughtful decisions, if you ask her a general question "what do you want for dinner?" she will go "umm... pizza" or "umm... noodles" or "umm ..cereal.french fries..." the list goes on, but to me its amazing that she will answer a question in that manner instead of me having to juts give her two options.

Maybe its just because I am her mom, but she blows my mind. I am proud to be her mom and can't wait to see all of her potential blossom with every growing moment.

A couple stories I don't want to forget...

This last week I got out of the shower and couldn't find her. I walked around the house and found her in my closet- SURROUNDED in her, not yet wrapped, Christmas presents. She looked up and me and squealed "PRINCESS!". At least I know she will like it all. I guess theres quite a few years of finding presents ahead of us.. might as well start early. She also has decided to like Santa Clause. At first she only liked figures and dolls of him, and the man himself freaked her out. We went in line after brunch and she told me she wanted to go back to her chair and buckle it. But after pictures... Santa gave her a present with a pen and paper and candy in it. By the time we left she wanted to go wave and tell him BYE!

blankblog

Sometimes i feel blah.

Sometimes blogging is a great way to express blahness and get over it.

Sometimes i have nothing inside my head to say.

Memories

I've been thinking about blogging some stories and memories from my past. Not really sure what way this will go, but hey..might as well give it a try. I have so many bits and pieces and hate to lose them.

I remember learning to tie shoelaces. I remember trying and failing horribly. I am stubborn..very.very. stubborn, and I remember being angered by my short ballet shoelaces being untied and my total inability to fix them constantly coming undone. I sat at the end of the staircase..that was carpeted in pink carpet with blue carpet ribbons coming down the sides ( I loved that carpet); I repeatedly tried to make the bunny go through the loop. Then... finally.. I did it! Well, at least to my standards- the laces were wayyy short and only one loop stayed, but it was kinda tied which was WAY better than I had been previously be able to do. After getting those tiny laces correct, I was able to do tennis shoes easy peasy. It was a proud moment in my life, I think I was 3.

I don't know how old I was, but I remember sitting on the curb with a frisbee filling it with mud and poking at worms with a stick. Pretending to eat my mud pie and cutting it into pieces with the stick to serve to people. I remember that poofy pink dress I was wearing while doing this.

I remember thinking I hated shopping. But I absolutely loved and still love dress shopping. I use to go with my mom probably my whole life. We use to go to Foley's and pick out dresses- church dresses, fancy dresses, pants suits...lots of them. And just try them on and model them and pick out what we loved. It didn't matter if we'd never wear it, that i was 10 and never going to need a cocktail dress, it was fun, it was girl time, its kinda like being in a different world. Playing with all these things that aren't yours and then you hang them back up and go back on your way. And sometimes you even get to keep one. Once we went to a bridal and fancy dress store, I found this black and green and purple cocktail dress that was just soooo cute. They had the pretttiest wedding dresses and I remember KNOWING that was wear I would buy my wedding dress when I got married. I also knew I would use my mom's old dress which is what I actually did. I spent, no my mom spent, tooo much money on my prom dress. It was and still is beautiful, it cost like 300 dollars and I never have felt prettier. I didn't have a date and when I got my brothers best friend to go I still drove and paid for dinner and I never got to dance at my prom, but I'll never forget that I had the best dress ever.

White Chocolate Cake.. of Doom

I bought a chocolate cake book that I saw at Williams Sonoma; it has some amazing cake recipes, but honestly I bought it for this cake. This is the most epic cake I have ever made, it didn't have the most decoration but it had the most time effort and love put into it. The taste of the cake batter, and the icing were big moments for me. hehe. I was also feeling photo friendly, so I hope you enjoy.

The cake was the heaviest thing you'll ever pick up. It had 2 pints of whipped cream, 14 ounces

of white chocolate plus the shavings on top, orange zest,

strawberries, happiness. It was a very dense cake kind of like a shortcake, and the icing what white chocolate whipped cream with a bit of orange zest.

Let me say this.. I love buttercream and I normally dislike whipped cream icings on cakes cause they aren't sweet enough. This topped all buttercreams, I could eat this icing on anything. I am grateful to my friend David for loving white chocolate too much and having a birthday and a great excuse to bake this..and eat it. I am glad I bought the book. It is called Chocolate Cakes: 50 Great Cakes for Every Occasion by Elinor Kilvans.

And for the final product!

sometimes the wheels keep turning and you have to stop and unload

Sometimes I just wish I could do more, be more, mess up less. I have quite a bit of a problem with time management and forgetfulness. I am always doing something no matter how insignificant. I get involved in lots of things I get scattered and stressed. I itch my head and my belly hurts. I don't keep up with friends or family how I or they would like. I suppose a lot of people feel the way I do.. I want to be a better mother, a better friend, a better wife, a better daughter sister cook employee. Some of it I just try my hardest and thats all i can do. Sometimes i know I am just not trying hard enough. I know this is kinda random and all over, just needed to word vomit a little.

I am sorry to those I love for forgetting things i am suppose to do, being late too often, not having my shoulder and ear close enough to you. I never want to hurt anyone