Talking

This is me just talking, rambling, whatever. My brain is tired of talking to itself.

First of all.. Zach is out of town and has been for a week and half. Its all very odd. I miss him just being here. Having the option to hug him or talk his ear off or poke at him.
At the same time, I have enjoyed my alone time. I hung out with my friends some, but I have told them no I don't wanna leave and I don't want company several times. Yeah yeah I've been playing WoW too, but Ive also just been sitting alone in my thoughts and listening to music, which really I don't do much anymore.

Work has been really busy, Christmas-time is always more busy than the rest of the year, but since I am not going to be here next week its much more hectic. I've got tables of orders that can't be filled until I finish my stuff. So I normally work 4 hours a day and this week I have been staying for 7. Its been good to get more hours and get stuff done, but being there in that moldy place sucks too. I was stressed earlier in the week, but I think I am going to be able to get things caught up enough so next week there won't be too many people waiting on orders. I got much of the website stuff I needed to get done finished already, the rest can wait until I get back.

My house and its contents are a giant barrier I would like to leap tonight or tomorrow. I need it to be clean, completely clean and done. I want to come home to a nice house when we get back from Vegas. And I want that feeling of accomplishment that comes when you do something completely alone. I have been having a dilemma about my Christmas tree. Its not up yet. I want it up, I love Christmas-time and decorating; however, I want Zack to care and want to help me do it, which means.. either it won't get done or we will do it a couple days before Christmas. I'm not sure if I am motivated to do it by myself right now either.

As far as Vegas goes- I'm excited and anxious at the same time. I'm believing for no delays on Zack's flight home and our flights there and back. I don't know what all we are doing and I don't know if I am bringing the right amount of money, but there is nothing I can do about that since neither of us get paid again til the day we come home.

Really there is a lot of emotions and things I would like to express, but I don't actually want to or know how to share. I think maybe I need to pull out my sketch book. I have a hard time conveying what I mean in words when the topic gets philosophical, leans toward inner conflict, or just when I have incoherent ideas.

If you were motivated to read this far, thanks for letting my mind breathe a little; whether I said anything useful or not I feel better getting to talk, or type.