One Year

I never seem to find the time to blog. I will find it again, I think it might be lost behind the couch. There is a lot of things to say. First of all, I love being a mom. I love my sweet baby girl. She is a joy to my life and I can't stop thinking about how grateful I am to have her. Her birthday is this week and the celebration has been fun and sobering. Its true what everyone says..it goes to fast.. you blink and she'll be all grown up. The first year has been amazing. Here are some pictures from her Birthday party, hopefully I'll have more from her Actual Birthday.

ok and I have to say I made those curtains and the cakes...

4months and 7 months

I couldn't play either of these videos, but blogger made them work!

Vegetables?!

I did something I have never remember doing before.. Ate ONLY vegetables for dinner! I just had to share, because it was pretty. It would have been really low calorie except for the olive I made the eggplant in. Oh well it was yummy!

Eggplant Parmesan over Spaghetti Squash with tomatoes, mushrooms, and spinach!

A Good Day

I finally pulled the Wii Fit out today. Since I was on it last....45 days ago, I have lost 10lbs. Woot! I did 35 minutes of exercises; mostly yoga and some aerobics. I also did some crunches.

It feels good! I ate out for lunch, but thats OK I should still be able to make my goal for calories for the day. I have not been faithfully writing what I eat...which means I have been eating worse. So its time to start over.

My DH (dear husband) is going out of town for THREE WEEKS in July. This makes us both a little sad and both a little happy. He likes training and the mall right next to his hotel, but is going to miss his family. I am going to miss him terribly and miss the help with Katey, but its very motivating to me! I want to get the house all in order and eat well and lose weight while he is gone! It would be so awesome to lose even 5-6lbs and be that much smaller when he comes home. Not to mention that much closer to my current goal.

With him gone, I will have more time at night after baby bedtime to exercise.

Wish me Luck!

Oh and also we bought webcams so DH and littlebit can see and talk to each other.

Goodbye 240!

It has been a while since I blogged about weight and dieting. Not that it hasn't been on my mind..I wish, but I have been pregnant and post pregnant and now it is time!

I might as well be truthful. I gained over 50lbs while pregnant and ended up weighing about 280. It was really hard on me emotionally. That is so close to 300lbs and that make me want to cry. I couldn't even find maternity clothes without A LOT of effort. I would have gained even more if I finished those last 4 weeks of pregnancy. I lost about 25lbs within a few weeks of having Little Miss. I was too big to wear pants that buttoned still and so I started doing the South Beach Diet. After 3-4 days on phase one while nursing I was starving for carbs and decided to go to phase 2. That lasted about two weeks. I got down to 245ish.

And thats where I have been for about three months. That is about 2 lbs more than my biggest weight ever - prepregnancy. Now not only is this way off the charts of obese, but I want more kids. If I got pregnant this heavy..Dear Lord... So its time drop this weight and feel better!

Counting Calories is the only thing that really works for me. I know too much about nutrition to do anything crazy, plus I am still breastfeeding. I want to lose a lb or 2 a week so that it stays off. Well GUESS WHAT! Its working! I am eating a bit more than 2,000 calories a day. I am at 235lbs. ( I have to average, because I can fluctuate 8lbs in a day..)

My Ultimate Goal is to get down to a size 12. I have been a size 14 or higher since.. I dunno 7th grade. But sometimes looking at something so far away can make you unmotivated to get there. So my goal is to weigh 210 by the end of the year. That is less than I weighed when I met my husband. So its a REALLY motivating goal.

Wish me LUCK!

AH I forgot to post my cupcakes that I made. My friend bought me a book called Hello Cupcake!for my birthday. There are so many I want to make. This was my first attempt. They are owls.

God did not punish you

It bothers me that there is a significant amount of people who believe God causes tragedies in our lives. It is NOT the truth! 

John 10:10 ¹⁰ The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly!

God is a good God and he wants us to have a happy and successful life. He does not cause the awful things in our life, nor does he "allow them to happen to teach us". Thats total bullshit.  So the question develops... Why do bad things happen to good people?

God created us with a choice to trust him and live in a good world, or we can know of good and evil, blessing and calamity. We all know what in our human nature chose.  

We now not only make our own bad decisions which cause bad consequences.  We also have Satan who attempts trick and manipulate us and the people we come across on a daily basis.  His daily goal is to destroy our life and our love toward God. It is his trickery that convinces people that God did it. 

God has also given us authority on this Earth. He CREATED this world and universe with his words.  Then he created us in his image and told us to speak to our mountains. He gave us Angels to protect us and follow what we say.  BUT we limit not only ourselves but our Angels' protection.  We say things like " Oh I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time" or "If somethings out there I'll catch it and get sick". So our angels listen to our words and instead of prompting us to avoid somewhere, or stopping the car that about to hit you.. they wait. They don't understand why we want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, but we told them thats what we wanted. 

Tragedy's are caused by not listening to the promptings of Holy Spirit and by the theif/ the destroyer, the murderer- Satan.  

We chose to live in a world that contains good and evil, so God cannot keep all the Evil out..we let it in.God is a good God and loves us very much! Which is why every time a tragedy happens, it is through him that we can find our way.  God has plan A for us. Then something awful happens. God gives us plan B instead.  It was not his plan for you fall but he will pick you up again every time!  Through him we can overcome any obstacle. 

Saturn Cake for my Uncle

How do I love thee..

I can't help it. More than anything else I love little tokens and expressions of love. In this particular case it has to do with a gift. But actions are just as strong if not stronger gifts of love.
    My husband doesn't like holidays, celebrations and birthdays; well its not that he doesn't like them, but I think he doesn't like the boundaries put on him. Such as.. you need to buy this person a present, be here on this day at this time and so forth. Once he gets there or if he buys the present he actually enjoys the celebration itself. Knowing that its easy for him to "pass over" buying a gift for me for a holiday, I told him that my first Mother's Day is important to me and flowers or a card or something would be really nice. Maybe its bad to mention it, but I would rather say something than have my feelings hurt.
     But..He doesn't like the flowers/card thing so instead he buys me a present. Something I've really been wanting and decided it cost too much- so he gets me an even more expensive set; not because its expensive, but because it fits me more than the others I was looking at.
I was thrilled, he gave it too me all shy like he does. First, he gave me paper card written in sharpie. And it meant more to me than any Hallmark. then pointed in the other room at my brand new colorful set of mixing bowls!

I told him that I didn't need anything for my birthday, no biggie this year the Mother's day present was plenty! Well this is the point I was getting to. He CANNOT buy a present and wait until the particular day to give it to me. As much as he tries, he can't do it and I just LOVE that about him.
So.. a couple days ago he gets all figitty and tells me he can't wait any longer. I'm like "what?!?". So he gives me my Birthday present, which I totally wasn't expecting, a cute little matching set of measuring cups! Heehehee I love them so much they are so cute and colorful. And I love his little impatient dance and that he gave them to me early!

Final Week of Wilton Cake Decorating Class 1

After lots of dropping roses and smashing things..including the side of my cake.. I finally finished my cake. Here is a picture of the classes' cakes. Nikki's is the white and pink and purple one, mine is the chocolate. It was a lot of fun I would like to take the next class, but I want to take a break for a bit first.

Yogurt causes mixed emotions

We tried cereal before and its not her favorite lets just say that lol. So tonight I decided lets start eating solids once a day and I gave her plain yogurt. She actually liked it most the time, but it caused some interesting expressions.

Cake #2

Cakes and Fitness

Whats on my mind??? Working out and sweets.. go figure eh?
First of all I am taking a cake decorating class with my sister-in-law. It's a lot of fun and just fuels my desire to own a bakery (dunno if I've mentioned that on here) and at the same time it makes me not want to right now. I don't really have the time to spend on it at the moment.  

I keep thinking about it at night when the day is over and I am laying in bed trying my hardest to go to sleep.  I think  I might like to have a specialty bakery for diabetics, people with food allergies, and the rest of us who would love to indulge in sweet wonderfulness but would rather not have the calories, hydrogenated everything, and bleached processed ingredients.  It just sounds like a wonderful idea.  But as ideas go, there are many steps before any sort of reality in this. I have NO recipies for such things LOL! Soo right now I'm going to keep the idea in my head and start figuring out how to make sweets and treats in a healthy way. One step at a time right?

So making massive amounts of icing and scooping up the crisco I can't help but think...wow I really want to treat my body better than this. Which is why the healthy bakery idea started..not to mention the many people I know who can't have the junk... But it also makes me think about my choices of food and exercise.  Right after Katey was born, when I didn't have to work..and before I was cleared to..., I went to the gym a few times and although I couldn't do much it felt great. Then Zack went back to work..and so did I and well things have gotten to the point that I haven't even taken a walk in a while. And well, I really really miss it.  But at the same time I struggle with finding the motivation to do it.  I really don't like leaving my SugarBunny and with work and occasional babysitters to have a date with my husband, and once a week for a couple hours for the cake class... I just feel to awful to leave her again to go to the gym. I feel like I don't have enough time with her as it is, and I'm not sure what to do about it.  

My priorities are imbalanced and I feel it.  So this is my first step.. putting it out there and hopefully I will work out a solution or God will find one for me.. no scratch that.. how about I will let myself trust that God has the perfect path and the strength to find and follow it.  

Quantum Faith

Where does the time go...

Katelyn is almost 4 months old and today has discovered how to roll from her back to her belly. But she doesn't particularly like being on her belly so instead she has chosen to roll her buns over but continue to lay on her arm on her side.. and bam she fell asleep.
... I can't blame her, I'd rather sleep on my side too.
So it the precious moments of her sleep I thought it was long overdue to blog. I have a lot to say I mean its been 3 months..So I may not finish, I may ramble on forever, or I may break this into a few blogs.

First and Foremost.. motherhood..
I have taken care of children since I was a child myself. From the age of 7-17 my family took in over sixty foster children 95% of them under a year old, many we picked up from the hospital just a day or 2 old. (I would love to write some about this ..note to self) I can do diapers, spit up, bottles, crying, carrying in any form or fashion. I loved those babies cared for them, a few are my siblings now, many I miss and remember often. But I was not prepared for motherhood.
Nothing could prepare my soul for the complete and udder love I have for MY child. The amazing feeling and shock of looking at her and knowing half of her came from me, and half from my husband. I can't believe how fast she is growing, but I also feel like she has been with me forever; how could I live my life before her?
Love and happiness is not the only thing I was unprepared for. Nursing was another. I was worried about nursing before; comfort level mostly. I wanted to do it but it seemed weird to put a child "there". The moment I saw her that fear was over. But a whole new one developed. I had supply issues and still she has a formula bottle here and there. Talk about inadequacy issues...The first 2 months of her life I was constantly stressed out and emotional about the amount of liquid coming from my breasts. She has gained well and is healthy though.
My marriage has changed too. I am grateful that we had the time we did before having children. I miss our quality time we use to have. I feel like, no scratch that, I know I don't have enough time for him, much less the house or cat or job. He is a wonderful father. I am blessed to see his love for her, her grins and giggles just to get his attention, and so very grateful for all his help with her, the house, and my emotional stability. I honestly am amazed by his strength and thank God for him everyday.
I am happy to be a mother of such a wonderful baby... I always knew I wanted to be a mommy when I grew up...

This would definetly be too long to write about any other subject so I will try to find some more time to write again soon.