Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Mid-night ramblings

Sometimes, well most of the time I feel inadequate. I want to write about my life, my passions and all kinds of interesting thoughts. Then I think about what I want to write about and I draw a blank. I worry about being shallow and that I really should be delving in more interesting subjects than just everyday life.
And well maybe some of that is true. There are a lot of subjects I find interesting, but are put on the "I'd like to.." list because of laziness, busy lifestyle or more likely bad time management. So I don't read the books on theology or even the fantasy and sci-fi books that I would love to do. I forget some of the things that I valued when I was younger. I don't investigate enough into long lost friends that I think about, but never get around to calling. I sit and listen to dead silence to my loving husband who just isn't good at chit-chat or yammer on about who knows what to one of my girlfriends. Its kind of a depressing thought, but I am also happy in the easiness of just completing what I have to and just enjoying the presence of my family and friends.
Maybe I have nothing else to talk about besides how little miss sunshine waves and yells "Hi" to dogs barking, or that she blows bubbles on my tummy if I lay in the floor with her. At this point in my life I am totally good with being absorbed in the happy places of motherhood. I always plan to be here and enjoy that, and I will also find some time and passion for other things again too.
I don't blog for assurance (I really am happy), sometimes the best therapy for feeling down is to express it and with insecurity its easier to confess it to a blank page or screen than a friendly ear.