Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Talking

This is me just talking, rambling, whatever. My brain is tired of talking to itself.

First of all.. Zach is out of town and has been for a week and half. Its all very odd. I miss him just being here. Having the option to hug him or talk his ear off or poke at him.
At the same time, I have enjoyed my alone time. I hung out with my friends some, but I have told them no I don't wanna leave and I don't want company several times. Yeah yeah I've been playing WoW too, but Ive also just been sitting alone in my thoughts and listening to music, which really I don't do much anymore.

Work has been really busy, Christmas-time is always more busy than the rest of the year, but since I am not going to be here next week its much more hectic. I've got tables of orders that can't be filled until I finish my stuff. So I normally work 4 hours a day and this week I have been staying for 7. Its been good to get more hours and get stuff done, but being there in that moldy place sucks too. I was stressed earlier in the week, but I think I am going to be able to get things caught up enough so next week there won't be too many people waiting on orders. I got much of the website stuff I needed to get done finished already, the rest can wait until I get back.

My house and its contents are a giant barrier I would like to leap tonight or tomorrow. I need it to be clean, completely clean and done. I want to come home to a nice house when we get back from Vegas. And I want that feeling of accomplishment that comes when you do something completely alone. I have been having a dilemma about my Christmas tree. Its not up yet. I want it up, I love Christmas-time and decorating; however, I want Zack to care and want to help me do it, which means.. either it won't get done or we will do it a couple days before Christmas. I'm not sure if I am motivated to do it by myself right now either.

As far as Vegas goes- I'm excited and anxious at the same time. I'm believing for no delays on Zack's flight home and our flights there and back. I don't know what all we are doing and I don't know if I am bringing the right amount of money, but there is nothing I can do about that since neither of us get paid again til the day we come home.

Really there is a lot of emotions and things I would like to express, but I don't actually want to or know how to share. I think maybe I need to pull out my sketch book. I have a hard time conveying what I mean in words when the topic gets philosophical, leans toward inner conflict, or just when I have incoherent ideas.

If you were motivated to read this far, thanks for letting my mind breathe a little; whether I said anything useful or not I feel better getting to talk, or type.

1 comment:

*Merry Girls* said...

It is always wonderful to read what is happening in that beautiful head of yours!! I hope everything turned out as good as you hoped for.
Love ya